SPCC - Cosplay Information & Concerned Parent Info Sheets

By **jpwise**. 19/01/10, 02:43 am

OK, so in light of recent posts regarding a forum member and her parents situation, plus the semi-regular rants about parents not understanding. At the last meeting of the SPCC we raised the option of doing information sheets for media/general public, and concerned parents. General consensus was 'yes' it's worth doing.

As part of this I'd like to get some input on the above two topics, initially focusing around the concerned parent information since it's probably one of the less addressed issues.

For those of you that have been through it
1) what sort of problems did you have with your parents and their understanding (or lack of) with cosplay?
2) was there any method of explaining it you found particularly useful?
3) was support from others influential in changing their opinion of cosplay, and what form did it take?
4) what were common questions or arguments from your parents against/about cosplay?

Likewise if you have any other comments or suggestions please feel free to put them forward.
Also if you're interested in more actively working with the SPCC on writing up the information sheets please drop us a line. :)

Thank you. :)

By Mandie_Chan. 19/01/10, 03:19 am

Brilliant Idea!

4) I've spoken to 5-6 parents now about cosplay and they ask questions like:
What sorts of people are in the group? Do you let anyone join?
What is the age range?
Is there a sign up fee?
What if theres a meeting my daugther/son can't make, do they have to come?
If there's a certain event I don't think is appropriate for them, do they still have to go? (-in reference to the halloween party)
and many more I can't think of...
usually once I tell them about our CCC rules (no drugs/alcohol/smoking at events, young kids having an older sibling join etcetc) they were ok with letting their child join us ^_^

on another note, my dad found the Cosplay Calender made by Static and he read the first page. He found it really helpful because it had things in it which we (anne and I) forgot to meantion. This bit he really liked and appricated:
"We encourage the learning of practical skills in sewing, design, painting, propmaking and other related areas. We provide a supportice atmosphere where techniques can be shared, costumes showcased, and help is always available; whether it be with beating a difficult pattern into submission or any problem that is getting on top of our members"

If there's anything else I can help with I'll be glad too ^_^

By **jpwise**. 19/01/10, 02:28 pm

Hi Mandie, thanks for the input. :) I'm after exactly that, plus more peoples experiences along the way.

Since the forum has been running for a good couple of years now most of the longer standing members have settled things with their parents and it's usually not a biggie to attend a cosplay oriented event. With the constant influx of new members however I have noticed the semi-regular rants about parents not understanding.

So if I can have input from everybody on their experiences, including those that have got their parents onboard, aswell as those that may still be hiding their interest in cosplay from their parents.

If we can get enough information together on the common concerns and arguments that parents pose, hopefully we can put together a comprehensive information sheet to alleviate their concerns and pave the way for future cosplayers to continue cosplaying. :)

With that, everyone please give me your input. Thanks. ;)

By **JVCA**. 19/01/10, 02:39 pm

The only problems my parents have ever had with it have just been that it's impacted on the amount of time spent on school work, so I can't add much I'm afraid. D:

By **jpwise**. 19/01/10, 02:43 pm

Thanks JVCA, it's another good point however and I'd like to include a mention of it in there aswell. Probably something along the lines of 'like any other extra-curricular activity, etc,etc'.

Keep them coming people. :)

**Guest** Guest

I didn't start until I'd moved out already, but my entire family is supportive so I have little to contribute here.
Although something concerned parents might be interested in is setting cost and time boundaries, and setting up priority lists and timeplans. Encourage parents to see it as a project that they can help with, that they can contribute to, and that their child will benefit AS A PERSON from planning and executing.
I know Mum's major issue was always that me and Bub would show and say "We want to sew NOW and we want your help" and Mum's reaction was "well, I have other plans for my sewing machines this week, and WHY are you leaving it so late (AGAIN!!)". It wasn't that she objected to helping, but that she objected to having us assume she would be able to help at whatever ridiculous timescale we had set ourselves. (IE, 40 hours of sewing in a weekend!) Other than that her reaction is mostly "clean up after yourself, ask before you cut my fabric".

By Highlander. 19/01/10, 03:00 pm

I don't know if this is useful, but 'just like any other' is probably a repeat phrase. I mean it seems from the threads that short cosplays, pervy manga, Yaoi, etc are concerns, understandably, to some parents. But I would remind parents that that really describes an average movie/Tv program and average teen dress now. So if they are concerned they need to have a more general talk with their son/daughter about boundaries in life. And that manga/anime/cosplay is a artform, not a genre. So it covers comedy, soap opera, teen, childrens, action, sci-fi, etc.

By Kitten Slave. 19/01/10, 03:07 pm

Include a note that it is not in fact some weird cult, or in any way religiously influenced.
Then include something nice and cuddly as to what it actually is to appeal to the overzealous parent.

It is normally something I would lol at, but I am reminded by certain recent posts regarding this.

Mmm, I think it is probably also important that parents not only be told what it is not, but told what it is. Like highlander said about the stigma surrounding it and things like yaoi etc. It has a protective and supporting element amongst the group.

nodnod

**Guest** Guest

Oh yeah, compare it to something like quilting. Quilter spend stupendous amounts of their machines (eg top of the line Bernina is something like $10,000 - and Mum spent significantly more than that on her quilting machine). Then they spend ridonkulous amounts of money on fabric - probably more than cosplayers do, and in a wider variety of colours. (Although almost entirely cotton. Just about 6,000 different colours of cotton.) A full-sized double bed quilt represents at least a hundred of dollars worth of fabric, very often more and the more intricate the pattern the more ended up on the cutting floor. Then they pay someone (like mum) to quilt it @ $25/square yard and up, which comes to another hundred or two per quilt.
And hours and HOURS of time spent on these things.

But no-ones mother is ever going to freak out about quilting.

By Static. 19/01/10, 03:13 pm

What really bars me up about my parents (mother in particular) is that she views ALL manga/anime as pervy and dodgy. Which is basically like saying all literature written in english is Lord of the Flies. Not so! REALLY not so!!

How many people here actually do the roleplay-in-costume thing? When I was doing my book research, it didn't appear that ANYONE did - not further than getting in character for a camera, anyway. So it's not misrepresentation to simply pitch cosplay as a creative hobby, and ignore the 'play' part altogether; or simply mention it as the wearing of the costume rather than any particular activity performed in said costume. I feel like I'm saying we need to gloss over it - but am I? Gah, I dunno, I just sew the suckers!

**Guest** Guest

Well, one of the things I want to do A.T. is get into LARPing, but thats not the same. I might use the same outfits sometimes though, but otherwise I consider them very different exercises.

About the most I have ever roleplayed for cosplay is an attempt at witty banter between my character and an appropriate other character. Like the year I was Anna Valerious I glared (menacingly?) at the Alucard whenever they came near, and tried to exorcise her once or twice, but that was it.

By Mischa. 19/01/10, 10:23 pm

I didn't start cosplay till I had been out of home for six years , but my sister started much younger. My Mum was pretty supportive and loved helping but was concerned about hemlines/skimpyness (if anyone knows Ish they will laugh at this ;) ) I think skimpy cosplays on nubile teenage girls is a worry for parents. Maybe we could have a section on that?

By Highlander. 20/01/10, 08:59 am

Again cosplay does not upser the right of parents to put in place whatever limits they want. Be it $$$, time, or skirt lengths.

And because we are a community that has plenty of skimpy outfits, then the respect thing is very important. And we are a small and reasonably close knit community (who fights all the time, but hey ...), so we look after our own.

And the social thing is good.

And emphasize that both the cos and the play are optional.

I do intend to spend a lot of my time playing in the future, with my carefully chosen cosplays/groups. But then I have not seen much play at all really. I suppose that walking around alone, or as a group, and lying on the wall at Auckland both count as Zoro type activities. Would have been more authentic with endless supplies of food, and a bit of fighting. But a few of us need to work up to the stage of being able to actually do demo fights.

On that note do mention the safety thing. And the no real fights/real weapons a s props.
Do mention the competition, as optional, but a great feeling to get a mention in it. And the skits too.
And the learning of life skills.

By Hannah. 21/01/10, 08:04 am

i think the biggest thing for my parents was that they couldn't get past the "other" side of cosplay, the dodge side no matter how i tried to explain it they still think of it as "adult role play" Dx
also they thought that it was REALLY IMMATURE and couldn't comprehend people wanting to "dress up" past the age of six. So maybe there could be some examples of some more technically demanding cosplays to show parents how muck skill is actually required.
a good Cosplayer's do's and Don't s would be cool to for example age appropriate cosplays i.e leave the catsuits for the adults.

dont know if this really helped but i'll be keeping an eye on this thread for any good parent convincing ideas. xD

By Lumissne. 21/01/10, 08:28 am

One major concern my mother had was how "safe" CNZ was. She was extremely against me meeting up with people I had met on the internet. Can you please add that parents are encouraged to meet with the group leaders?

By Static. 21/01/10, 09:14 am

The 'age appropriate costume' thing is a really good point...tweens wandering around in bikinis is maybe not such a hot idea.

Actually, looking at my cosplay line-up this year, I'm probably a good example of costumes parents don't want to see. ;___;

By azeria. 21/01/10, 09:22 am

minjachan wrote:: i think the biggest thing for my parents was that they couldn't get past the "other" side of cosplay, the dodge side no matter how i tried to explain it they still think of it as "adult role play" Dx

T-They think I'm dodgey? ;___;
hur hur /hides

Oh I think showing the OMG WOW cosplays would be a good idea, like maybe Angemon and Angewoman? And stuff about the World Cosplay Summit, to show that there's a massive itnernational competition would be good too.

**Guest** Guest

probably not angewoman.... >.<

By Highlander. 21/01/10, 09:27 am

minjachan wrote:: also they thought that it was REALLY IMMATURE and couldn't comprehend people wanting to "dress up" past the age of six. So maybe there could be some examples of some more technically demanding cosplays to show parents how muck skill is actually required.
a good Cosplayer's do's and Don't s would be cool to for example age appropriate cosplays i.e leave the catsuits for the adults.

Etiquette? Maybe. Even my mum think it is very immature of me. Mind you she thinks that about the SCA, and that is like very serious stuff. I mean tanning your own leather, making your own shoes, based on historical research? Historical poetry? Even how to plan, serve and eat a feast. Not like we do now.

Lumissne wrote:: One major concern my mother had was how "safe" CNZ was. She was extremely against me meeting up with people I had met on the internet. Can you please add that parents are encouraged to meet with the group leaders?

Yeah maybe emphasise that Cosplay is a real hobby for real people. CNZ is just a place we organise, and socialise, esp. people from other parts of NZ.

But Lummi the CCC is the only club in NZ, and hence has rules. There are some Anime ones as well. But the mods do tend to keep an eye on things. But in like Palmy for example? Hamilton? Not so sure it's as cut and dry as that.

But we are going to have to keep this short enough people want to read it.

Also JP remember that Cacti did a school project with a set of questions about cosplay that some of us answered. So you could ask her, and the people contained in that if you could use that as a resource too.

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On a side note I have talked to Jp and Reiko sort of about this, mainly about the technology. I would like to see a kind of set of master resources for the SPCC, for use by CNZ/Geddon/CCC/Oshare/NZVC, etc.

Basically I want to populate the wiki with articles. Well everyone need to help, but I will start it? And that will be the most extensive set of resources. But we also need a few files that may be editable in another program, but we publish on the SPCC site in PDF's? Basically so they are print resources and they can not be interfered with? Just what I am thinking at the moment.

So I see the parent centered version as one of the resources, and most of them can access the wiki or other resources if they want further info.

I will talk to Jp more about this. Then the mods and CCC. When I get some time.

By Static. 21/01/10, 09:31 am

One of the core principles of the SPCC is that doing anything to bring the society, or cosplay in general, into disrepute is a massive no-no. That includes dodgy behaviour - what members do outside the society is their own business, but a lot of the dodgy stuff that parents hear of is NOT kosher with us. Mind you, balancing that with not being anal and Big Brother-ish is tricky...hence why we love you guys and your input so much!

By azeria. 21/01/10, 09:31 am

Kiki wrote:: probably not angewoman.... >.<

...But the Spanish people who did them were so awesome DXX
Damn you lack of clothes.

**Guest** Guest

I totally get parents worrying about the safety of meeting folks off the interent. Absolutely. If I was to meet Kitten online somewhere, there is NO WAY IN HELL I'd go meet him. Very Happy

But this is not really the same as meeting a strange man for a date. But it's hard to explain this to parents.

My mum tended to go for things if she could talk on the phone to a grown up. Or meet with them in person, preferably.

Something in large letters about how parents are more than welcome to come to ANYTHING, and talk to our nominated grown-ups (possibly handing over a phone number) would probably help parents a lot. And for people WITH parent issues: not being all "AWWW MUM" about parents coming along would help the cause Very Happy

They'll get bored with it all real quick, promise. Invite them once and watch us run around on a sugar high and they'll be MUCH more likely to let come alone next time. Even openly inviting them usually allays a lot of suspicion.

By PIe. 21/01/10, 10:41 am

I was told today by my mum that she believed that cosplay was a phase that I would grow out of before I was 20, I don't know how many other people have parents who think it's just a phase or something they will get bored of but it's one of the few arguments my mum has against cosplay the others being, it's really weird and I have to travel to get places.

Some things that she also used to believe which seem to be quite common are the whole "omg cult" thing and the meeting people from online but after going the Auckgeddon and not being kidnapped or raped by any of you she got over that

I agree that showing more technically demanding cosplays in the information is important and for some reason I think that putting something about skimpier costumes in there so parents aren't shocked if they do turn up to an event and see a Yoko or Haruhi bunny running around and think their kid has been lying to then about the wholesomeness of it, it's not un-good to dress in such a costume it's just that some parents may find seeing someone in not-so-much-clothes when all they've seen are schoolgirls, pokemon gijinkas and Kuroshitsuji characters a little suprising. (I suspect some parents would even be wary of some of my costumes and I don't want any parent who sees one of my Misa outfits to think badly of it)

By Static. 21/01/10, 02:06 pm

I'd like to put in something about skimpy costumes often being the hardest to pull off (in terms of costume, not the body it goes on), simply because there's so little to work with. Neimhaille's Slave Leia for example - it is AMAZING, and very abbreviated; and actually would probably be a perfect example of how a non-costume can be one of the most amazing pieces of work.

By **jpwise**. 21/01/10, 02:07 pm

Great input so far, i'll definitely have to dig down Cactis thread and go over it aswell. Essentially once we've got a draft together we'll post it for people to review and offer suggestions. The final product will hopefully be something that can answer their questions, explain our passion for cosplay, and let them know that there isn't anything wrong with that.

@PI - lol, i think its' gained enough support over the past few years it may survive the 'phase' period for most people now. ;)

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