Buxomwoman vs. Breakdancing Ninja Robot: The Fic'

By Pyro. 16/09/09, 02:52 pm

And now, the true story of BNR and BM will be revealed to all...

Quote :: The café was quiet, save for the occasional pang of a fork clashing on someone’s plate. It seemed like everyone was alone that day—there wasn’t any casual conversation to be heard, and even the kitchens were dead. Early on a weekday morning, not the sort of time most people were about. It wasn’t like the place ever attracted anyone much anyway.

In one corner, a boy in his early teens sprinkled sugar into a cup of hot chocolate, his eyes glazed over. He was bored. He didn’t have any work to do, and he’d already looked around all the nearby shops. The little back-street arcade didn’t hold anything more for him to do, but it’d be a while before his mother came to pick him up.

Besides… he’d had an anonymous tip that his rival was around. The ninja. They always stayed around this area when they were in town—the little suburb out in the middle of nowhere.
“Come on, where is he?” The boy checked his watch for the umpteenth time. He’d heard from his contact—she’d referred to herself by the name of some aquatic bird, but he’d forgotten which—that the ninja had planned to stop by here at nine thirty. It was nine twenty seven. He crossed his fingers and said a prayer that the ninja wouldn’t be late. The boy had other business to attend to.

Minutes ticked by, and nine thirty had come and gone, along with the boy’s hot chocolate. He’d been beginning to ponder ordering a second one when suddenly, the door banged open. In strutted a tall girl, about his age, with a stocky build and long, dark hair. She glanced around for a few moments, pulling her hands out of her olive-green trench coat, and checking her own watch.
“Damn, I can’t see any of them around…” Turning on her heel and beginning to exit, she froze as her eyes caught the boy’s.
“… Buxomwoman.” The venom in her voice said it all. Getting to his feet, the boy spoke in a similar tone.
“Breakdancing Ninja Robot,” Walking towards his opponent, slowly but deliberately, he whipped out a steel-bladed fan. “This time, I won’t lose.” In a burst of light, the boy transformed into a tall, buxom woman, and sprang at his opponent. Similarly, the girl changed into a masculine figure, made of pistons and gears, with the face of a blonde man.
“I beg to differ!” Whipping out a katana from seemingly nowhere, the robot parried the woman’s attacks, and charged in with one of his own. Ripping through one of the straps of his opponent’s pink dress, he could hardly smother his laughter as she reached up to grab it, losing a precious few seconds in the process. “You’re letting your guard down, Buxomwoman!” Slashing again, and again, the ninja’s face grew a cruel smirk.
“And thus, the fight will once again be won by me!” Buxomwoman’s defenses grew weaker by the second, as Breakdancing Ninja Robot made more and more ground on her, working her back towards the café walls. A small crowd had gathered to watch the fight, but it was nothing compared to the attention the pair usually received.
“Don’t speak too quickly!” As one of her feet reached the wall behind her, Buxomwoman flipped quickly off of it and behind the ninja robot. While he was still confused by the move, she charged into him, forcing him against the wall. He was at the mercy of her ample chest.
“Make one move,” She whispered, “And I’ll crush you.” He knew she wasn’t lying. Lowering his blade, and sheathing it at his waist, he raised his hands up.
“Now let me out,” His upper lip curled in frustration, the ninja glared at the wallpaper in front of him, his breath coming fast and light. He knew he wouldn’t be safe until he was out of range of her and her buxom powers.
“Fine,” Stepping back, Buxomwoman realized her mistake almost immediately as the ninja sped away from her, and out the café’s doors.
“You will rue the day you first clashed with me, Buxomwoman!” He cried, and within moments, he was far away from the fight. Exhausted, Buxomwoman collapsed into a nearby chair, and wiped the sweat off her brow. Transforming back into the young boy, she sighed.
“That ninja never gets tired, does he?” The denizens of the café surrounded him.
“What’s your name, kid? And who was that?”
“Me? I’m Alex, but you can call me Buxomwoman. And he—“ Alex pointed out the glass door. “—Is Breakdancing Ninja Robot, my arch-nemesis.”
“Why were you fighting?” A waiter asked.
“… I honestly don’t know,” Rubbing his eyes tiredly—it’d been a long night, getting that information about the BNR. “But one thing’s for sure… our fight isn’t over yet. Not by a long shot.”

Buxomwoman vs. Breakdancing Ninja Robot: The Battle Continues Next Wednesday

By **Admin**. 16/09/09, 02:59 pm

/snort

OHLAWD.

I LOL'D.

XDDDD

By Lavi_x. 16/09/09, 03:04 pm

OH JESUS. WIN ;D

By PIe. 16/09/09, 03:12 pm

That was amazing, you deserve an award

By **Rowan**. 16/09/09, 03:18 pm

I LOVE YOU GUYS <3 hahaha

By creature124. 16/09/09, 03:18 pm

THE BEST.

THE BEST.

THE BEST.

By **JVCA**. 16/09/09, 03:21 pm

ROFLMAO. Omgggggg. XDDDD This is hilarious and disturbing in that I can picture Alex's transformation. >.o

By creature124. 16/09/09, 03:22 pm

JVCA wrote:: ROFLMAO. Omgggggg. XDDDD This is hilarious and disturbing in that I can picture Alex's transformation. >.o

I also imaged this.

Currently listening to music very loudly to attempt to supress the image.

By mystix-candy. 16/09/09, 03:26 pm

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT
win!!

**Guest** Guest

/ded from lol XD

By Pyro. 23/09/09, 08:00 am

Quote :: The fringe of civilization was a beautiful place to live in. On the lofty heights of a hill, overlooking all his domain, the Breakdancing Ninja Robot lay in wait. Clouds gathered overhead, eager to burst into a storm. Exactly his kind of weather. He was lucky that his circuitry was carefully guarded under stainless steel skin and plastic muscles—it let him stay out even when the threat of rain loomed.

Holding out a hand, he couldn’t help but smile as a droplet of rain landed on it. And another. And another. Soon, a rain storm was pounding down around him. Far off in the distance, there was a crackle of thunder, and a bolt of lightning. A smirk lit the ninja’s face as he spun around on his heel to face the woman that had appeared behind him.
“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t notice you?” Pushing her hips to one side and folding her arms, she giggled.
“I had a feeling my attack would fail, but it was worth a go anyway.” Climbing to his feet, the ninja adjusted his coat, and began to reach for his katana.
“Uh-uh-uh!” Buxomwoman waggled one finger. “Why don’t we fight without weapons today? It’ll be a nice change.” Pulling a bladed fan out from between her cleavage, she tossed it off the isolated rooftop, over the cliffs below and into the sea. Hesitantly, Breakdancing Ninja Robot threw his own weapon off the roof, making a note to retrieve it after the battle.
“Good. Are you ready?” Assuming a combative pose, Buxomwoman winked at her opponent. The ninja shook his head, and pointed to his foe’s chest.
“Get rid of the perfume first,” Taken slightly aback, she nevertheless obeyed his commands, and placed four bottles of perfume at her feet. “And the tarot deck.” Once again, she startled, and reluctantly drove a hand up a slit in her dress, before pulling the cards from seemingly nowhere.
“If we’re playing it that way, you get rid of your knives,” Her nose wrinkled as she scattered the cards into the storm. In a manner of seconds, roughly three knives had been pulled out from under the ninja’s coat. “And the gun.” A SOCOM was added to the pile.
“Look, are we going to fight any time soon, or do you just want me to take out my battery now?”
“Haha, very funny, Breakdancing Ninja Robot. As it were, I think we’re both good to go now,” Nodding in approval of her statement, the robot soon found himself backed to the edge of the roof, Buxomwoman’s breasts dangerously near him. Summoning a burst of strength, he reached out and pushed her away, then dropped to his stomach and rolled to the side, picking up his gun. In retaliation, Buxomwoman grabbed up her four perfumes, and uncorked one of them, tossing it at her opponent. The perfume exploded in a cloud of purple smoke, clouding the ninja’s view of his opponent.
“Hey, that’s cheating!”
“And picking up your gun wasn’t?” Out of nowhere, Breakdancing Ninja Robot felt something punch into him, throwing him across the roof. Recovering from the blow almost instantly, he flipped onto his hands and began to spin around, his legs split wide above him. Springing off his hands, he landed on his feet, and pulled out the SOCOM. Firing it off towards the smoke, he heard a scream erupt from Buxomwoman.
“That hurt! That really-really-really hurt! You got me in the leg!” Taking aim a little higher, he shot again. “Aieee! And that was my arm, you creep!” A second burst of smoke surrounded the area, this time in a shade of turquoise.
“You’d better be happy I’ve got this curative perfume, or I’d be dead!”
“Isn’t that kind of the point?” Closing his eyes, the ninja fired a third bullet—and this one hit the mark perfectly.
“My—you—you hit my—“ Stepping clear of the fog, Buxomwoman had a hand clasped over her chest, tears of pain—and humiliation—flooding down her face. Even the rain couldn’t disguise the fact that she was crying. “I’ll never forgive you, Breakdancing Ninja Robot!!” Springing off the rooftop, pressing the remaining two perfumes into her cleavage once more, Buxomwoman let out a wail of anger.
“We’ll meet again! And next time, I’ll be the winner!” Pleased with his victory, the Breakdancing Ninja Robot placed his gun on the ground, along with his coat.

Taking a deep breath, he charged at the edge of the roof, and leapt off, over the cliff, into the sea below. He wouldn’t lose his sword. With several powerful kicks, he drove himself deeper, deeper—luckily, the water was only a dozen or so meters deep. He could handle it. His wires could handle it. He’d been in far worse. Noticing a glimmer of silver in a patch of sand, he plunged further down, now only needing to rely on his weight to reach it. Grasping the sword in his hand, he cast a glance up at the dark surface of the water, and attempted to kick himself back up… only to discover that he wouldn’t rise. Far too late, he remembered that the last time he had gone swimming, he’d needed help to get back out of the ocean.

Alone, running out of breath, he prayed for someone—anyone—to save him. Even Buxomwoman, if it came to that. Slowly… surely… drowning.

Buxomwoman vs. Breakdancing Ninja Robot: The Battle Continues Next Wednesday

By Li-Bai. 27/09/09, 01:21 pm

I eagerly await the next installment xD -macho thumbsup-

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