Poem/lyrics

By Sonic Reducer. 14/04/09, 06:12 pm

Ok I have written lyrics for years now (yes I used to do musics) so thought i'd throw some of my old stuff up. This one is written more like a poem but oh well

its called

IF

A child
A boy lies in his room
his world
a mix of fantasy and reality
whats the truth to someone so young
if he only knew then what he knows now
if he only knew then what he knows now

the boy
now a full grown adult
a new house a new room
god created dirt so flowers can grow
but can he?
is this what its like to be an adult?
if he only knew now what he knew then
no trade backs

the man
a boy
creating worlds of clay
creates a new world for himself

By Aikome. 23/04/09, 03:51 pm

I like it.

"god created dirt so flowers can grow
but can he?" Especially this.

Kinda unstructured at the end.. but it's not a peom is it? Anyway, I like the words you've used. Simple, direct.

-thumbs up-

By Sonic Reducer. 24/04/09, 07:42 am

thanks

I might as well post other stuff I have done so heres another one.

Let go

i see the world
feel your breath
broken home
nothing left
you see the path
as the pedulam swings to time
i see the rose in the rain

broken rose
silver cloud
arms folded cross
inside locked self
i'll follow the path
to where it takes me
still hold the pain
can you see me

(chorus)
let me go x4

trembling eyes
broken smile
forest found mind
echoing pile
im running in the dark
to where you can see me
arms opened up
do you see me
do you see me
do you see me dad
do you see me

*chorus*
let me go x5

By Aikome. 24/04/09, 02:47 pm

Good stuff nodnod

(This one) makes better sense written in a lyrical way. I like how it's literal yet the words are symbolistic. And the part where you've used repetition and tacked on the "dad"

Another -thumbs up-

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