This is probably it.

By GothLoli. 19/11/10, 12:02 pm

I don't know what say expect this is probably it. It's Bartzluver. But I think that this is the last time. I haven't cosplayed yet and is struggling to be apart of the CNZ community, so I think that this will be my last time, if I leave again I think it would be wise not to return, because I'm causing drama, upsetting other members and is not making CNZ look like a good community.

I'm now seeing two therapists a week now and have made a livejournal account so can vent out sad feelings out of other people's way.

You're free to hate me, dislike me, find me and annoying or whatever. I closed down my profile because I don't like myself at all and I suffer from self-loathing and also is suffering from past regrets. Though I thought that if I closed down my profile people here won't have to deal with a annoying, depressive, attention seeking person anymore and could be free to enjoy cosplaying cheerfully without any hassles.

I've said in the past that when rejoin the forums that I'll be better and won't make the same mistakes and I'll be happier.
But I've learnt that I can't promise that, because speaking in reality, nobody knows what can happen in the future.

I can't ask for a new beginning, but I rejoined because I'm lonely and I've got really nobody else to hang out with. That's the truth. I'm lonely and I really desire some friends to be with, no new beginning stuff, I'm lonely and I wish that one day could be happy and cheerful again. That's all.

Mods can delete this if they want.

By mystix-candy. 19/11/10, 12:10 pm

Charmy.. I haven't been filled in with these issues you're talking about here
but you know you've got me if you wanna talk to someone :'3 I'm pretty knowledgeable according to some xD And I'd really love to talk to you and help you overcome your problems~ And to just be a friend and talk to you :'3 After all, you're one of the only people that gets me and my Sonic obsession other than Blaze xD;;
There are other people on the forums that are just helpful contributors and don't do much cosplay themselves (me included |D ) If you really aren't able to complete a cosplay don't make a promise to a group. Put yourself down as a maybe so they aren't surprised nastily. If you need help with a cosplay you're doing, make a topic :3 That's what the forum is for. If you're feeling sad, there's a rants column but don't overdo it~
You can't let past mistakes hold you back from becoming a better person but these mistakes help you learn and grow. Everyone makes mistakes because we're only human. You've got a new account and a new attitude to match, right? :'3 It's good to get the sad feelings out of you but also good to look at the bright side of things. Whoever can't learn to forgive you if not worth being involved with. Your true friends will stick by you and help you out

and I'm one of those people, I promise :'3

â™¥,
Silver

p.s. my msn is on my profile somewhere |D 'contact' i think?
p.s.s LET'S GO ON MSN AND GO ON AN RP TO FIND THE IBLIS TRIGGER 8D â™¥

**Guest** Guest

WAA~!!
Bartz!!!!
You ask for a new beginning?
I'll give you a new beginning~

Remember Bartz~
(can i still call you that?)
I will be a person you can talk to~ :3
I will be a person to listen and give you my awesome love~ <3

Hopefully your new beginning will start great~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From your best CNZ buddy
Jizzoka~

By GothLoli. 19/11/10, 01:13 pm

mystix-candy wrote:: Charmy.. I haven't been filled in with these issues you're talking about here
but you know you've got me if you wanna talk to someone :'3 I'm pretty knowledgeable according to some xD And I'd really love to talk to you and help you overcome your problems~ And to just be a friend and talk to you :'3 After all, you're one of the only people that gets me and my Sonic obsession other than Blaze xD;;

Thankyou Mystix.

mystix-candy wrote:: There are other people on the forums that are just helpful contributors and don't do much cosplay themselves (me included |D ) If you really aren't able to complete a cosplay don't make a promise to a group. Put yourself down as a maybe so they aren't surprised nastily. If you need help with a cosplay you're doing, make a topic :3 That's what the forum is for. If you're feeling sad, there's a rants column but don't overdo it~

Yeah that sounds like a good idea. I think I'll just leave sad-ranting to livejournal now though. So I don't bring friends and other people down with me.

mystix-candy wrote:: You can't let past mistakes hold you back from becoming a better person but these mistakes help you learn and grow. Everyone makes mistakes because we're only human. You've got a new account and a new attitude to match, right? :'3

Yeah. Yeah I've taken a few steps back and have noticed that can't really act so sad anymore and have to move away from the past.

mystix-candy wrote:: It's good to get the sad feelings out of you but also good to look at the bright side of things. Whoever can't learn to forgive you if not worth being involved with. Your true friends will stick by you and help you out

and I'm one of those people, I promise :'3

Thankyou Silver. Friend hugs <3

mystix-candy wrote:: â™¥,
Silver

p.s. my msn is on my profile somewhere |D 'contact' i think?
p.s.s LET'S GO ON MSN AND GO ON AN RP TO FIND THE IBLIS TRIGGER 8D â™¥

Okay I'll MSN ya. (: Thankyou for being so supportive and so kind (:

By mystix-candy. 19/11/10, 01:14 pm

^No problem, buddy 8D â™¥
everyone needs someone to talk to >w<
and it looks like you have Jizzoka as well :3

By GothLoli. 19/11/10, 01:16 pm

Jizzoka wrote:: WAA~!!
Bartz!!!!
You ask for a new beginning?
I'll give you a new beginning~

Awh. Thankyou Jizzoka. / friend hugs.

Jizzoka wrote:: Remember Bartz~
(can i still call you that?)

Bartz or Charmy will do fine. Shawn still calls me Cloudy, so you can choose whatever one you please :3

Jizzoka wrote:: I will be a person you can talk to~ :3
I will be a person to listen and give you my awesome love~ <3

Thankyou Jizzoka. I love being friends with you and Sliver, you guys are awesome. I love you both so much. <3

Jizzoka wrote:: Hopefully your new beginning will start great~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From your best CNZ buddy
Jizzoka~

Thankyou Jizzoka. Thankyou for being a awesome friend. / friend hug.

@ Mystix/ Sliver.

Yup I'm so grateful for you, Jizzoka, Casey, Megan, Madam Madhatter, and Shawn right now. Thankyou guys so much <3 Oh ! I couldn't find you're MSN address on your profile Sliver, would it be okay to E-mail it to me ? Thanks (:

By LintuwolfWiing. 19/11/10, 01:18 pm

Cloudy =D Mahahahaha

Welcome back

By GothLoli. 19/11/10, 01:21 pm

LintuwolfWiing wrote:: Cloudy =D Mahahahaha

Welcome back

Thankyou Shawn ! / friend hugs :3

By mystix-candy. 19/11/10, 01:27 pm

Sent you my msn :'3 check your PM box
(I was gonna say PMs but it sounded wierd xD )

**Guest** Guest

Mew~ I was going to say something, then I forgot. Anywho, welcome back, glad you gave yourself some time first~

By daydreamer. 19/11/10, 01:47 pm

Welcome back :)

By SoulessPuppet. 19/11/10, 01:51 pm

Welcome back~ :3
Its not healthy to hold the heavy load that the past leaves.
Keep on moving forward~!

By ProjectDOLL. 19/11/10, 01:57 pm

Welcome back ^ ^

By Madam Madhatter. 19/11/10, 02:33 pm

*Starts singing*
Welcome back, welcome, welcome, welcome baack!
*stops because I actally hate that song*

Anywho
...Welcome back? whee

By Highlander. 20/11/10, 04:39 am

Welcome back.

And yeah you have friends, you just have to make an effort to talk to them.
Remember, get out (in the sunshine), do stuff, be with people. Cause you don't have many problems when you are with friends.

By Max Power. 20/11/10, 04:47 am

yay your back!!
You know you can always count on me and Shawn to be your friends Very Happy

I've seen you change so much for the better and your such a awesome person! ^_^
Plus I need someone who can understand Shawns gamer jokes cos I have NO clue most the time XD

By mystix-candy. 20/11/10, 04:50 am

Talking to you yesterday was fun, Charmy! 8D About Sonic Comics, Sonic Colors
...Sonic...EVERYTHING â™¥ And your plans for the future :3 I hope you get into your course â™¥
WE SHALL TALK AGAIN SOON NEXT TIME!
but as for now, i should probably do some study and room-cleaning |D

~â™¥, Silver

By GothLoli. 20/11/10, 03:27 pm

@ Casey

Thankyou (: Yes taking a few steps back for a while was a wise decision (:

@ Daydreamer

Thankyou (: Awh you're always so nice !~

@ i-Darkness-Emo-panda

(:

@ Madam Madhatter

I'll sing along with you. All together now ! "Weeeelcommme baaaaack ! " :3

@ Highlander

Heh-heh yeah, really have to break that anti-social-ness huh ? Thanks for replying Highlander, and thanks for seeing if I was alright on MSN. And yes that Hi did look sad. x3

@ Max Power

You guys are excellent friends ! (: The only game joke I know that Shawn does is the Cecil Harvey one ( maybe because we created it ) CEEEECIL~

@ Mystix- Candy

No Problem Sliver ! Thankyou I'll try ! YES I'LL MSN YOU TOMORROW ! :3

By azeria. 20/11/10, 03:40 pm

Spoiler:

By Highlander. 20/11/10, 03:47 pm

GothLoli wrote:: @ Highlander

Heh-heh yeah, really have to break that anti-social-ness huh ? Thanks for replying Highlander, and thanks for seeing if I was alright on MSN. And yes that Hi did look sad. x3

But, but, how is "hi" different to "hi" or "hi"?

By Squishy blob. 21/11/10, 08:29 am

Welcome back to CNZ! I hope you're here to stay for good this time.

Btw, are you still interested in Lebreau for Auckgeddon or overload?

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