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Ash, Silence and Motion.

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Which one did you enjoy more?
Ash.
Ash, Silence and Motion. Vote_lcap100%Ash, Silence and Motion. Vote_rcap
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Silence and Motion.
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Total Votes : 9
 

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Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By Li-Bai. 22/05/10, 11:36 am

These are two pieces of creative writing that I wrote last year (for NCEA3 English). 'Ash' was written after 'Silence and Motion', though not long after. One's better technically and the other is better emotionally, I'll leave you to figure out which is which.

Ash.
Spoiler:
 

Interesting fact:
Spoiler:
 


Silence and Motion.
Spoiler:
 

Interesting fact:
Spoiler:
 

If you read them, I'd appreciate if you left a review or a critique. I'm always willing to take onboard advice to improve where I can. Ash, Silence and Motion. Icon_smile

(I swear I'll finish recording the lines for my VA thread soon. I'm a bit swamped with schoolwork right now. ;;)
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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By Selphiroth. 22/05/10, 06:41 pm

When you publish, would you sign my copy?
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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By riiche-. 23/05/10, 07:57 am

Selphiroth wrote:
When you publish, would you sign my copy?
^This 8D

You're an amazing writer!
riiche-
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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By Pyro. 23/05/10, 08:51 am

ffffsht Claudia. CLAUDIA. I will never stop loving friggin' Claudia. <3

Anyway, nice work, Madj'. ;D

The 'I'll ruin my body however I like' thing sounds familiar, but... I can't remember why. In any case, it's a very prettily worded statement. :/
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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By Li-Bai. 23/05/10, 09:32 am

@Selphiroth and riiche- Ahahah. Thank you very much. ^^;; If I ever do get published, I will remember it. Razz

@Pyro I'm 100% sure I'll end up writing her into a big original someday. ...Oh wait, I think I've already planned that. Haha. 8D;
And that's strange that you think that, that it sounds prettily-worded :0 It's kind of funny and ironic, 'cause like... well, that conversation was anything but pretty, really. It was kind of sad actually. D: But it's interesting the way things turn out in stories, huh?
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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By Guest. 24/05/10, 01:52 am

@Li-Bai you are amazing! Both of the stories were really amazing but Ash was my favorite.

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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By Caddyl. 26/05/10, 02:12 am

;; _____;; ASH WAS SO SAD.
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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By mystix-candy. 26/05/10, 12:46 pm

Ash was lovely ; ; chuu~!
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Re: Ash, Silence and Motion.
Post By RJayne. 02/06/10, 04:28 pm

Wow. Just wow.

Ash was heart-wrenchingly amazing. It was a beautiful, beautiful piece, and it related so much to a character of mine that I nearly cried. I want that story published, I really do, and I want you to sign my copy. /worships

I also loved Silence and Motion. Another relatable character (and I personally loved the name) and great use of parallel episodes. The story was honest, and I found the ending a lovely finish to a sad tale.

I am absolutely amazed at your characters too - they are as flawed as you or me. I'll be honest - you are the writer I want to become. This is such a learning opportunity for me, to see such great works. I hope you got Excellence for those stories.

Besides one or two typos, perfect. In every way, shape and form.
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