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Kiki is writing a fanfic

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Kiki is writing a fanfic
Post By Guest. 12/11/09, 08:30 am

okay just before I show you what I have written, please take into consideration im not much of a writer, I don't write often, and definitely not a full story, so this is kinda a big thing for me. Don't be scared to tell me it's total utter crap though. Spend the last 20 minutes writing this 83.



Spoiler:
 

It's definitely not finished yet, nowhere near in fact. anyway, tell me what you think

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Re: Kiki is writing a fanfic
Post By DarkGaia. 12/11/09, 10:44 am

Wow, its short, but its actually realy good, please write mroe xD?
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Re: Kiki is writing a fanfic
Post By Guest. 12/11/09, 12:16 pm

okay, updated 8D

Spoiler:
 

I'll be going through the last two paragraphs or so and making them more descriptive. I changed the first chapter title =D

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Re: Kiki is writing a fanfic
Post By DarkGaia. 12/11/09, 01:44 pm

Haha, the ramen eating was described so much, I could nearly taste it myself =w=

(wow, thats was a weird comment)

Its good so far, good job! xD
DarkGaia
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Number of posts : 264
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Re: Kiki is writing a fanfic
Post By Guest. 12/11/09, 01:44 pm

lol thankyou 8D need to make it better before i carry on =D

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Re: Kiki is writing a fanfic
Post By mystix-candy. 13/11/09, 08:12 am

It's a good story for someone who's not a frequent writer :3
A lot of the sentences start with 'I' I noticed...try changing the sentence structure a bit otherwise it gets a bit repetitive :3
But other than that, nice story 8D
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