Interactions with the Public

By **Li-Bai**. 11/12/10, 06:06 pm

Disclaimer: I do not speak for everyone here when I write this.

Interactions with the Public.

With what we do, it's pretty much a given. From time to time, outside of a convention, we'll have to interact with those whom we (fondly) call 'civilians', be they shopkeeper, neighbour, or random passerby on the street. And every time the experience will be different. You can have very good experiences or very bad ones.

You'll generally be met by one or more (or all?) of these three things:
• curiosity
• disdain
• mockery

These are the three big ones. You can usually tell which one the person is being. Usually. I'll come back to this point later.

Now, you can respond to this in one or more (or all?) of these four ways:
• warm accommodation
• weird-them-out-as-much-as-possible
• totally ignore them
• raise your hackles

Of course, the best possible thing to do is be accommodating and patient when met with questions. You don't have to explain every little bitty detail of what you're doing, for example: "Oh, we're doing cosplay, that's when you blahblahblah" etc. etc. You can just say something like "Oh, we just like dressing up for fun." And that's all you really have to say. I know sometimes the urge to go into mucho depth is strong, but depending on who you're talking to or what situation you're in, you have to decide whether it's the best thing to do. If they're obviously interested, by all means, explain away. If it's just a quick "What are you guys up to?" a brief, polite answer would suffice.

This is, however, not as easily said than done, particularly when you come across someone (or rather, they may come across you) who is mocking. It's one of those situations where you'll want to come away feeling like you got the upper hand, or something to that effect. Logically, the "best thing to do" is to ignore them and walk away, but sometimes it's more difficult in practice than in theory, maybe because of a little thing called pride. Sometimes we have difficulty pushing our pride back even if just for a moment, because we really, really don't feel like getting walked over today and we'd really love it if we could be understood for a little while. This isn't to say that we're going to react like a total smarmy wrench and give them the reaction they want, just... try making them understand a little, you know?

I realise sometimes that this doesn't work. Sometimes people won't listen and they're only there to get a rise out of you and/or be a total jerkface.

The natural reaction is to get defensive, though the "best" one is to walk away. Sometimes the reaction to this is what I said before, weirding them out so that they'll go away or raising your hackles over it. I am guilty of the former moreso than the latter, but I think there'll be other people here who can identify with this as well, maybe. My way of dealing with it is that I have a song for every occasion, so I can just start singing. This is however, more of a case of trying to calm my nerves down than actually going out of my way to weird them out.

Raising your hackles and attacking them over it, okay. That's the bad thing to do. Self-satisfying perhaps, but the bad thing to do. The thing is that you really want to treat these people in the best way possible because you don't want to give a bad rep to the rest of this community. And that's reeeaally important. I've always thought that if you are out in town in costume, behave as well as you can, because what you do can really reflect back on the cosplay community. For instance, you're out in town in cosplay with your mates and you end up trashing the arcade. Right, that's it, no more costumed people in this establishment. Get it?

Now, I return to something I mentioned before and my whole reason for making this thread. "You can usually tell which on the person is being. Usually."

Now here's the kicker. Occasionally, like some of us Wellingtonites did today, you'll come across some people that you can't tell at all if they're being mocking OR curious, or both. They might not do anything specifically, but it's just something about their attitude that really sets off those alarms. It's really quite a frustrating situation because you have no idea what to do first. Give them what they want? Don't? Answer their questions? Don't say anything? Weird them out? Hear them out?
Be rude to them? No, they might be geniune. Be nice? Oh great, now they're just walking all over us.

I'm going to openly admit that I was very wary and very uncomfortable with the situation. Sometimes you don't mean to be rude, but you respond is curtly because you are watching what you are saying. eg. If one of these mocking-or-curious people ask for a photo with you or something. My response to their request was "Sure, but only if you don't make fun of us." I realise it's kind of an insensitive thing to say and I really don't have anything to defend myself with here.

Don't get me wrong, we've had good experience with the public and cosplay outings and photos too. Once aaages ago, when we were all in Mr. Buns, the manager asked to take a massive group photo of us all and we happily agreed. But these people, hmmm.... it's just, you don't really want something like that to end up on someone's Facebook page with a caption that says "Check out the photo we took with the freaks!! Hahaha!", you know?

Yeah, sure, you can just let it roll off your shoulder and brush it off. Maybe you'll develop thick skin, or you'll already have it. Lucky for you if you do. But when your friends are in the photo with you, even if you don't get angry for yourself, you get angry and defensive for them. And when you don't have thick skin, comments like that are really quite hurtful and you kinda take it to heart. "Ignore it," sure, but sometimes it isn't that easy, you know?

Maybe it's just me being cynical or overcautious, but it's just an uncomfortable situation for me and I don't like it at all. We did have some good 'rise above' moments, where they asked to borrow some chalk - "Sure, don't draw anything rude though," - so what do they do? Do a drawing of a big male genitalia and a (badly drawn) hand flipping the bird. Neutral

The former I turned it into an elephant, the latter Icarus actually turned into a bird (ha!). Yeah, um... I don't feel like writing too much more on the situation myself, but someone else who was at the meet can do it.

What's my point here anyway?

I guess mostly I'd just like to know if anyone else has met one of these 'mocking or curious' people and how they dealt with it. I'm sure there's at least one of you out there who has. Or even just talk about the really good experiences and the really bad experiences that you've had before. As far as good experiences go for me, one of my eldest cousins (mid-twenties) got kinda interested in the whole thing after seeing some photos. That was fun.

There's a similar thread to this on the nzparkour forums, but seeing guys run up walls and saying "Hey, what's all that about" is different from seeing people dressed up in (often) strange and outlandish costumes...

PS if you read all of this, you deserve a medal.
_________________

By Thornback. 11/12/10, 06:44 pm

"Why are you doing this?"
We enjoy it.
"You like being freaks?"

"Do you work, or just do this all day?"

In the past, I'd never really had any really bad exeriences with members of the public-I remember an army of grandmothers passing a wonderland Picnic I had forever ago with friends, smiling and asking for photos and appreciating our youthful spirit-but those guys today absolutely infuriated me.

By PIe. 11/12/10, 07:14 pm

I usually have people wondering why I'm dressed up, only twice have I had a negative reaction and those were both on halloween being insulted for being 'too old' for it.

The most common question I get asked is "is there a show on?" (or if they know I'm always in shows "what show is it?"), I usually just tell them that yes there is and they should go down to Baycourt and buy a ticket (or if I can be bothered actually explain).

I am always extra polite when in cosplay so people don't associate it with bad behaviour or anything also.

Some of the stanger reactions have been someone comming up to me and touching my wig before asking if it was my real hair and being given $20 for being brave enough to wear a costume in public.

By Pura. 11/12/10, 07:16 pm

I honestly thought they were looking for a fight, so I left and went to go look after our stuff u__u

"Don't draw anything non-child friendly" yes. fifteen pens are totally what is considered child friendly. We were in a public park, where there were many, many little kids (I laughed at the elephant though xD).

I think what I disliked most about them is when Madja accidentally fell into them, and then said sorry, one of the girls with them (about two mins later) was like, "Aren't you going to say sorry?" and I was thinking, "Um, if you weren't deaf you'd know she did, no need to get a bitchy I'm-better-than-you attitude".

I honestly don't see what their issue is - just because we don't do their things (which tbh is probably getting pissed and smoking - ttly those kind of teenagers). JUST CAUSE WE'D RATHER DRAW POKEMON AND A UNICORN FAMILY ;__;

I remember we were once walking down Lampton Quay and some guys driving down the road yelled out, "Can we have some mcdonalds?" (we were eating it at the time). I can't remember if we were dressed up or not though. And then another time I was walking back to geddon while cosplaying Jolteon and people kept yelling "PIKACHU" at me (specially as I was by myself :/) I'm generally okay with these things as long as I'm with other people u__u (although today I left once they came back for a third time >__>)

By **Li-Bai**. 11/12/10, 07:24 pm

I mean, it's not like we TRY to give out vibes that say 'hey, we're a little geeky and sometimes we're kinda proud of being weird'. It just seems to happen sometimes? I DON'T KNOW. ;____;
_________________

By Thornback. 11/12/10, 07:27 pm

I think that "Aren't you gonna say sorry" (That was my fault, li-Bai, I am so sorry) girl was the same one who called us Freaks to our faces repeatedly. When LiBai was sitting down and they were crowded around her, I was literally beating down the urge to beat them away.

By Tracer Kinship. 11/12/10, 08:17 pm

To be honest, I have no idea what the entire story of this particular incident was since I think I was 'guarding all our stuff' at the time, but... damn. That sounds absolutely horrible. Totally did not know that the bird used to be... well, the bird. Also, epic Unicron family was epic.

I've had an experience like this during this year's Wellygeddon, when I was cosplaying as a Black Mage. I was waiting outside the bathrooms for friends when this wrestler guy decided to try and talk to me.

"Hey, you're Vivi, right? I know you! You're totally Vivi!"
Not exactly, but by that point I was used to the Vivi comments, so I just nodded.
"I remember playing Final Fantasy IX. Yeah... I always just killed him off since he was so useless."
He then leaned over to me and asked, "Hey, you know magic isn't real, right?" ~~Just like "Professional" Wrestling, right? 8D~~
Seeing as he was just trying to annoy me, I just kept quiet. Then he decided that he needed to know what gender I was and SHOVED HIS FACE RIGHT INTO MINE. gonk

He figured I was a guy and then walked away laughing with his friends.

I love my face-mask.

**Guest** Guest

^Speaking of Geddon comments, I was with Hannah and someone else at Wellygeddon also. She was black rock shooter, and I was vocaloid Meiko. Some random con-goer was all like 'Put some clothes on sluts!' I don't know if Hannah heard. I was just like Pfft and walked off.

In palmy we don't really get anything more than people asking what we're going in a friendly matter. I do recall being wolf whistled at a few times though.

By Hannah. 11/12/10, 08:29 pm

^Nope i heard that xD
...but the positive comments greatly outweighed the negitive

@ at today's incident the girl who was standing next to me was quite nice we managed to have a mini civil conversation (she wanted to know how i dyed my hair :) )

but yeah some people just like to belittle others, i just try to be as polite and friendly as possible so maybe they'll feel a lil guilty for picking on us

Hater's gonna Hate~

By Caddyl. 11/12/10, 08:40 pm

gimme a medal hurr hurr

Huh, I didn't know that it was that bad.

I was generally trying to keep away from them, since I didn't really like the way they were presenting themselves to us. I mean, if they wanted to know what was going on, they could have asked, we would have told and it would have been fine. But they kept hanging around and getting really close to you guys and then I saw the drawing. I wasn't getting very good 'vibes' from them, you know?

That one guy asked me about it. He said, "what are you doing?" and I replied that we were just having some fun in the sun, since we were all out of school and it was a nice day. And he said, "why are you dressing up?" and I said, "because we like dressing up."

I don't understand why some people won't take that for an answer, haha. It's not like we all have these mystical, deep life answers as to why we cosplay. Oh sure, I'm sure people do have better reasons for it, but I know that I like to do it because it's fun to dress up and make the costumes and interact with other fans, that's all.

It doesn't make us freaks, some people just can't see past their own incredulity to realize that we might just like dressing up and having some fun.

By Aikome. 11/12/10, 09:13 pm

I can't say any for others but I personally have never been bothered by the public comments, whether they were in kind or more malicious. It's because I feel confident knowing I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm not the one going around insulting strangers (perhaps I have thick skin too :`D). It's not a crime to cosplay. //shrug// Although I do get edgy if people are really.. say... enthused in giving compliments, it almost comes across as fake :`3 I'd say the best way to go about interacting in any situation is to be polite and answer if what they are questioning is decent; treating them as you would if you weren't in costume. I reckon it's okay to ignore them when they are being rude, it's what I'd do if I wasn't cosplaying~ I'm still the same person, just "dressed up".

People don't share the same interests and if they can't get pass their disdain of someone elses hobby.. bully for them ;l anyway, I haven't spoken to any jerkfaces while in cosplay (that I can remember), only creepers.

By hyolee123. 11/12/10, 09:38 pm

Reminds me of Auckgeddon :/ I was with a few others and these guys were following us pretty closely. They kept saying "Oh yeah we're just following the cosplayers." Like we couldn't hear them. I was ready to kick one of them if needed because one did the whole 1000 years of pain thing and hit Admin. We did try our best to ignore them and they got bored and eventually left us in piece.

EDIT: I do remember another time I went to school in cosplay on a mufti day 8D Probally the most relaxing day ever~ Teachers were very interested to know what "fairy tail" character I was (Even know I was onion knight from FFIII but shhhh xD) And teachers were very interested in my sword. And asked me how I made it and that. Best mufti day ever 8D

By ai-scully. 11/12/10, 10:38 pm

If people call me a freak when I'm in costume or make weird/nasty comments on my costume I just comment about their clothing. like...
"wow, what a freak, wearing a kimono in New zealand."
"wow, what a idiot, thinking it's attractive to show the world his butt"

Or just change the topic by focusing on them.....
Or how they talk....

....the most common comment I receive is always about... My chest area. (whether I'm in cosplay or not, but usually when I'm in cosplay it's usually more obvious)
Having people comment on me showing skin like that is normal for me, but alot of other cosplayers might find it uncomfortable. I'm not exactly sure how some other people would take it but I just call them captain obvious and ask if they saw the sky since they seem to be seeing everything today.

though I am very sarky and sarcastic.
Though I AM POLITE. ~~when i wanna be~~

By Icarus. 11/12/10, 10:58 pm

eww, that annoying betch, when she dropped the line 'are you a porn star?'
BOY that was difficult to hold back. ~~considering how her hole filled shorts was WAAY shorter than my skirt~~

but yes, Li-bai makes good point, pride is one of those things that you know you gotta keep low, you can't help but strike back. I can honestly admit that I fall to it almost everytime strangers yell stuff or make fun of me or friends (in costume or out, as apparently screaming at asians out of cars is a logical thing to do ~~douche bags~~ )

and I also agree about the predicament today, what SHOULD we say in such a situation?
-Reasonable, yet a little rude/defensive method: Complete ignorance.
-Gut instinct: "you guys are pricks, could ya physics off?"
What I ended up doing: avoid answering and sang the internet is for porn song while walking away.
I guess if we act above them then that could always drive them away. Like everytime they ask an offensive question just laugh and keep laughing. Once you're done laughing act like you forgot the question. You'll be playing the fool, but it'll make them feel like the stupid ones. It may have that sense of mocking them back, but surely theres nothing wrong with finding bullies funny 8D (and if that truly was just actual idiotic curiosity then, they have absolutely no proper people skills may they have a slap in the face by reality)

also good job to Caddyl's reply to them. Simple and straight-forward~~

By Regal. 11/12/10, 11:01 pm

That sums ups what creates one of the most important aspects that is apart of the human nature: Pride. You yourself deserve a medal, Li-Bai.

Hurr hurr.. "Mysterious hooded man, joined...by...other..hooded..people. YOU'RE NEXT!*faces one of the guys* RUNNING.. RUNNING!! SLOW-MOTION JUMP ATTACK!" Boy, that guy started to panic during that song.

But anyways, the people we encountered are kinda like the typical d*^*&% bag teenagers. Their minds are unfortunately too small to comprehend the word 'unique'. Unique being everyone is different in lots of ways.

ANNNND.. I don't how to end this post. I'm going to fail those essays in school aren't I?